For the most part, we do our best to protect ourselves from others. A tendency we do this is by keeping others away from our inner thoughts and/or feelings. This even includes our loved ones. It could be that we are afraid of judgement, feeling vulnerable by letting them into our feelings/emotions or we are hiding certain behaviors or thoughts. Either way, we have found that by not being fully transparent with one another, it is very difficult to progress and grow as a couple. It prevents you from reaching the next level in your relationship.
What does it mean to be transparent? For us, it is being able to have full honesty with one another, sharing thoughts/emotions and not being deceiving. Think about it; the more deceiving you are the more you keep others away from your true-self. In a sense, it forces you to develop a different personality from who you really are and who you want to become. Sure, at times in order to survive we need to put a “front”, depending on the situation and environment we are in.
When it becomes to a relationship with your spouse, how would being deceiving, dishonest help you love one another more? How could he/she know what you are really like? For us, the more we started to share our emotions and thoughts with one another, we started to become more united. Our goals started to align with one another, even thought our interests were different. Better yet, we started to grow spiritually and emotionally together and would even know how one would react to certain situations.
Another beauty of being transparent in a relationship is that the trust is amazing. People often say; “keep it 100”. But, when you dig into it; are you really being honest with one another? Are you “keeping it 100?” Imagine being able to walk to your spouse and talk to her/him knowing that the feedback/answer is going to be an honest one. Being able to have that trust that no secrets are being kept. The peace of mind that brings to the relationship takes you as a couple to another level. We know it has done that to us.
If you are fully transparent with your spouse, it makes it easier in the long run. You do not have to play two roles (street role and house role). You’ll be able to act the same way you act at home as you do outside of your home. Now, if there are any flaws please make sure you work on it to not only improve yourself, but also your relationship. Trust me when I say that it is an amazing feeling being able to walk out of the house knowing the behavior does not change when being outside of the home.
It does not make you vulnerable being transparent with your spouse. In the other hand, it helps you become a stronger person, helping you become a stronger couple. This would also lead you on having more confidence on yourself and in the relationship.
It takes time to have that full transparency. But once you realize the importance of it; you’ll get to reap the benefits that come along with it.
Stay the course!